Selah

My favorite find from today's walk

"God writes straight in crooked lines, and man cannot evaluate them as he lives on one level and can see from only one perspective. We are not the final arbiter of meaning. What looks absurd within the limits of time may be luminous within the scope of eternity."

Abraham Joshua Heschel, A Passion For Truth

Millie, my Granddaughter

Bookmarks for Christmas

Yesterday began week two of Christmas break. There's coffee and books, midday walks in the wood, and painting. There is also time to rest, and think. Yesterday I read- "The decisions you make today will impact someone's tomorrow."

Derwin L. Gray.

I've been looking at the symbolic meanings of the Hebrew characters in the word 'selah'. Somewhat of a mystery to scholars, the word is a musical notation whose meaning has wandered. Selah is composed of three characters. The first letter, the samech, was the picture of a hand on a staff; symbol of support, cycle, ring. The lamed, an ox goad, symbolized learning and teaching, control and authority. The final character, the heh, represented arms extended and symbolized spirit, wind and word. Pause, crescendo or musical interlude are the translations most agreed upon.

I think it's good to have words that cause us to stop.

They are like finding the perfect pebble.

Here are a few photos of the wood where I walk:

Birthdays

My heart leaps up when I behold a rainbow in the sky;

So was it when my life began;

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when I shall grow old, or let me die!

The child is father of the man;

And I could wish my days to be

Bound each to each by natural piety.

William Wordsworth

1804

A short note to those I teach-

The world you know will change and you will wonder where it went.

I blew candles out tonite. Again. How quickly the annual lighting occurs. The significance of a birthday changes every year. This year I wondered, "Why candles?" (My cake had only 3 this year, probably due to budget and fire code).

Nostalgia is dangerous. Today it occurred to me that when a student talks about a former teacher they 'loved', they almost always mention a specific assignment associated with that teacher. The sum of said teacher becomes encapsulated within said assignment and that teacher is wonderful. I wonder if I have any of those students out there? Or, better yet, I wonder how many of those former teachers were told they were wonderful in the moment. I confess to having former students who were wonderful and I never told them so. The danger of nostalgic memory? Singular moments glorify or vilify people.

Slowly, I am beginning to understand some of my students.

Here's a thought from C.H. Spurgeon-

"We are foolish to expect to serve God without opposition; the more zealous we are, the more sure are we to be assailed by the myrmidons of hell."

myrmidon \ˈmər-mə-ˌdän, -dən\

one who executes without scruple his master's command

Reality

"You are an endless ocean and a bottomless sea.

Your thoughts define me, this is my reality."

Jonathan David Helser

antique n-tk

Of, or belonging to, the past; not modern.

By definition I am an antique, though I am wrestling with that title. The young people who fill my classroom don't care much for antiques. They are, in many ways, as much a mystery to me as I to them. Therein lies my dilemma- relevance without compromise, i.e., meeting them where they are while maintaining righteous standards. It is difficult for this old dog to teach these young dogs old tricks in new ways. But, I am learning that attentiveness is a reciprocal arrangement. The level of a student's attention toward me is directly related to mine toward them. I watch them. I listen to them. Theirs is a world of witches and vampires, violence and drugs, sex and crude humour. I feel ill equipped. That is precisely where Christ fills the moment. He speaks to me in ways I can relate. Wednesday morning He yelled at me.

I was reading Mark, chapter eight- the account of Jesus feeding 4,000 people with 7 loaves of bread and 'a few fish'. After this miraculous banquet, Jesus and His motley crew climbed into a boat. The story unfolds in verse 14-

'And they (the disciples) had forgotten to take bread; and did not have more than one loaf in the boat with them. And He (Jesus) was giving orders to them, saying, "Watch out! Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod." (Religion and Government, but that's another lesson He is trying to teach me!) And they began to discuss with one another the fact that they had no bread. And Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why do you discuss the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet see or understand? Do you have a hardened heart?"'

(And then, Jesus spoke the next verse to me, loudly!)

"Having eyes, do you not see? And having ears, do you not hear? And do you not remember...?

He is still trying to teach me the fact of His sufficiency; His ability to exceed the visible 'possibilities' I call facts. I had been fretting over the amount of gas in the car ( at the current price, we use $10.00 daily). I had been struggling with issues of relevance and generational discrepancies in my classroom- a separation of almost four decades.

Eyes. Ears. Memory.

I am concerned for my students. On an infinitely higher level, so is Jesus. So, tomorrow I will put my armour on, go back to the classroom and watch and listen and remember.

Taking off Shoes

"Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God; and only he who sees takes off his shoes; the rest sit around it and pluck blackberries."

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Last night I decided I would stay home today. A 3-day head cold had peaked. But, this morning I felt better and I went to work. As I was driving in, contemplating the difference one day makes, the Spirit of God said, "Don't make tomorrow decisions based on today circumstances" (a variation on Matthew 6:34).

Being teachable is hard. Being teachable while teaching is harder. But, this week while teaching, I learned something; this week I remembered something (maybe learning is a form of remembering)- we all want to be heard. From the hungry babe to the elderly parent, our voice goes out. The word therapy comes from the greek word- therapeia, which means 'to be attentive to'. May I see with my ears as I remove my shoes.

"L'art c'est un combat- dans l'art il faut y mettre sa peau."

(Art is a battle- it costs one the skin off one's back)

Millett

gestalt

Random thoughts regarding value keep showing up. I just read that the monetary value of the elements found in the average human has been placed at $4.50 (depending on the daily market). Obviously, the

intrinsic value of a human being is of infinite worth. Years ago I read a story about an artist who kept one of his own paintings hanging above his drawing board. One day a man came to his studio and, after looking around, asked, "How much for that one?" He was pointing to the painting above the drawing board. "It's not for sale." The man, quite wealthy, pulled out his checkbook and said, "You

don't understand, just name the price and I will pay it." The artist smiled as he looked at the painting and said, "No, you don't understand. That painting makes me happy. It keeps me going. It is not for sale, at any price."

One of the joys of a teacher is watching students grow into their potential. My students keep me going. They keep me humble. Here's a lesson I learned last week- learning is based on receptivity. My receptivity, my willingness to receive is directly related to whether the lesson offends me, and, the level of offense.

Last week, one of my students looked me in the eye and said, "I liked my old art teacher better." How do you respond to

that? I said, "O.K." Later, that same week, a parent let me know that one of my lesson choices was wrong and offered a 'better' alternative. In both instances I immediately took offense. For days I chewed on their words and came to this conclusion- taking offense is a choice, a cognitive reaction that is possible to overrule. In a moment of time I can delay my response or remain silent- an aspect of "taking every thought captive." Then I can learn from someone's comment (or opinion). Who knows? Maybe God is trying to teach me how to teach.

"I know, O LORD, that a man's way is not in himself; nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps. Correct me, O LORD, but with justice; not with Thine anger, lest Thou bring me to nothing."

Jeremiah 10:23,24

Relevance

Recruitment Ad for Antarctic Expedition

Sir Ernest Shackleton, 1914

"When first conceived, an idea is a breakthrough; once adopted and repeated, it tends to become a cul-de-sac." Abraham Joshua Heschel

After fourteen months of unemployment, I am teaching again. Last week I wanted to quit. That, I suppose, is the life of a teacher. Like Sir Shackleton's description of an expedition, the wages tend to be small (no one becomes a teacher for the pay- you can make more money by managing a Taco Bell) with long months of complete darkness. But then it happens, the moment every true teacher yearns to see- the phenomenon known as the 'aha' moment, when the veil is parted and the light comes on. In my life, the Lord puts enough distance between the 'aha's' to keep me going (too many, too often might make me prideful).

During the summer, while still unemployed, I was visiting Hugh Gill. He looked at me and said, "You will be teaching soon, but not like you've ever taught before." He spoke prophecy over me that day. Now I am teaching with the good folk at Trinity Christian Preparatory School, or Trinity Prep for short. It is an amazing and challenging place. The old ways of teaching seem different here. Some of them don't work at all. Hugh was right. I have been praying for strategy. God is re-teaching me how to teach. Yesterday He reminded me that He made my students uniquely unique- as only He does. I cannot approach them with a 'bread' recipe, i.e., "If I follow these steps a perfect loaf will result." No, if I can teach them anything it will be to embrace their uniqueness, to explore the possibilities of what it means to be made in the image of God, the possibilities God Himself has instilled within them. The methodology then will not be learner-based or curriculum-based but God-based outcome.

There is a war being waged against our youth. The forces of darkness are building walls, attempting to erect gates around young minds. In 1986 Elie Wiesel was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his book Night. As he accepted the award he said this:

"We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere."

"This is the rock on which I will put together my church, a church so expansive with energy that not even the gates of hell will be able to keep it out. "

Matthew 16:18

The Message

Portrait of a Student

Alex Jamison

Bearing Reality

1909-S V.D.B.

Designer: Victor David Brenner

Diameter: 19 millimeters

Metal content:
Copper - 95%
Tin and Zinc - 5%

Weight: 48 grains (3.11 grams)

Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children

Hidden, excitedly, containing laughter.

Go, go, go said the bird; human kind

Cannot bear very much reality.

Time past and time future

What might have been and what has been

Point to one end, which is always present.

T S Eliot- Four Quartets: "Burnt Norton" (1935)

Last night I asked my Dad about the time he bought a penny for a hundred dollars. He went to the bank and asked to borrow $100.00 (in the 1960's you could actually do such a thing). The banker behind the desk was a doodler- scribbling and drawing on a pad while talking to customers. Without looking up, he asked, "What do you want it for?" "I want to buy a penny" said my Dad. The banker stopped doodling and looked up. "Carter, your crazy." And with that my Dad borrowed $100.00 and bought a 1¢ piece- a 1909-S VDB. I still remember the first time he showed it to me. I asked why it cost so much. "It's rare" he said. "The mint only made 484,000." That sounded like a lot to me. Years later he sold it, for $100.00. In his words, "I had three kids who needed groceries." At the time, that amount was equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment.

The 1909 VDB penny was revolutionary- it was the first time in US history an actual person's image (Abraham Lincoln) was placed on a coin for circulation. In February, 2001, a 1909-S VDB penny, Grade MS-66, sold at auction for $5,750.00. It is a curious thing to me, the way we humans assign value to things, from the price of a penny to a loaf of bread. My prayer list grows daily with the names of friends and family, every name representing a soul with needs. A few of the names have dire financial needs and, at the moment, their value as human beings appears depreciated- perhaps, in their minds, worth less than certain pennies. Visible reality has a way of overshadowing the Reality Christ carries. "What a fathomless wealth lies in the wisdom & knowledge of God! How inscrutable His judgements! How mysterious His methods!" Romans 11:33.

To those of you on my list, from Germantown, TN to Mobile, Alabama... to those sinking under the weight of a present reality you are unable to bear, you are much loved.

"This I know; God is on my side! I praise God for what He has promised; yes, I praise the Lord for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?"

Psalm 56:9-11